One thing I find offensive yet rather comical is when people treat me like I am stupid. You can laugh at me behind my back all you want. I just want you to know that in the end, the joke will ALWAYS be on you. I appreciate your imagination and piss poor logic. I, in fact, applaud your idiocy on the subject of ME. If I need an answer to a question no one is willing to answer, I promise you, I find the answer. It may not always be want I want to hear or read yet I always find the truth.

So do me a favor, ok? Don’t lie to me, don’t exaggerate the truth. I don’t care if you think I can’t handle the truth. What I know and what I have been through makes me much more qualified in life.


Just want to say good-bye…

It’s been twenty years since the darkness captured me. Why can’t it just release me and leave me be? People say, “Get over it!” or “Let it go!” I don’t know how. I did not get my closure; the closure so many say is the beginning of letting go. I live my life one day at a time; keeping the pain at bay. There are nights, such as tonight, that pain sneaks up and tarnishes my smile, reminding me of the deepest loss I have ever had to suffer. His face haunts me with the distant stare in his beautiful brown eyes as he left me here alone; to go on without him. I have been searching the world over to find what I lost, only to be let down because what I lost died with him; my innocence.

I have loved since him, just as deeply and purely, only to be destroyed again by someone else’s hand. This curse needs to be broken. There has to be a way to make this shroud burst into flames and the ashes blown away in the wind. There is someone out there to ignite the darkness that has consumed me; to break me free.

There is hope. There is a way to say good-bye…….