I am in a weird place…does this always happen when people approach 40 or is it just me? I’m single and while I enjoy it immensely, I miss companionship. I miss being able to connect with a man on a different level than with my girl friends. I miss the feeling of being safe. I miss the feeling of being a part of a ‘team.’
Being able to clean the house or cook dinner or do laundry while cutting up and carrying on with a partner, a boyfriend, a husband…I miss that. I miss the arguing and debates because we have differences of opinions.
I recently told someone I absolutely adore, that we are two souls dancing the tango in the night, full of passion and love, waiting for the moment when our souls become one. His response? Simply, “I love you, Erica.” That…that filled my soul. He did not run away or chastise me for being a “sap.” Others have and I shut down. Not this time. This man is different.
This man…I trust him with the darkest, deepest parts of me. He knows my secrets and I know his. I am scared. I don’t let people in that deeply nor do I do so with so much ease.
Too many have taken simple secrets and tried to destroy me with them. This man…He accepts all of me…my imperfections, my flaws, my strengths and my weaknesses. He never uses them against me. For that, I am grateful.
Will we ever be together? I don’t know. We want to be together. We enjoy each other’s company yet we both have things we need to work out in our own, separate lives.
Don’t wake me from this dream without making it a reality. I hope this man in my dreams becomes a part of my reality. He seems pretty amazing.