One thing I find offensive yet rather comical is when people treat me like I am stupid. You can laugh at me behind my back all you want. I just want you to know that in the end, the joke will ALWAYS be on you. I appreciate your imagination and piss poor logic. I, in fact, applaud your idiocy on the subject of ME. If I need an answer to a question no one is willing to answer, I promise you, I find the answer. It may not always be want I want to hear or read yet I always find the truth.
So do me a favor, ok? Don’t lie to me, don’t exaggerate the truth. I don’t care if you think I can’t handle the truth. What I know and what I have been through makes me much more qualified in life.
It’s been twenty years since the darkness captured me. Why can’t it just release me and leave me be? People say, “Get over it!” or “Let it go!” I don’t know how. I did not get my closure; the closure so many say is the beginning of letting go. I live my life one day at a time; keeping the pain at bay. There are nights, such as tonight, that pain sneaks up and tarnishes my smile, reminding me of the deepest loss I have ever had to suffer. His face haunts me with the distant stare in his beautiful brown eyes as he left me here alone; to go on without him. I have been searching the world over to find what I lost, only to be let down because what I lost died with him; my innocence.
I have loved since him, just as deeply and purely, only to be destroyed again by someone else’s hand. This curse needs to be broken. There has to be a way to make this shroud burst into flames and the ashes blown away in the wind. There is someone out there to ignite the darkness that has consumed me; to break me free.
There is hope. There is a way to say good-bye…….